Still awake

I didn't go back to bed like I should have it's now 8:01 am. Just came back from the store-bought another pack of smokes one of these fine days I'll quit. I think I'll mention my blog to my psychiatrist today not sure why but I think I will. Maybe she can see my thought pattern and see what is going on with my mind. I've had my breakfast and now I just sit here and write. I'm even dressed for the day. I was looking at some old blogs that I used to have. Why I had so many I don't know. This one has been the one that I write in consistently. I need another cup of coffee but I have already had my three cups I shouldn't have anymore. Maybe a cup of tea would be better. I've just put the kettle on I'll have some hibiscus tea that is always nice and soothing. Really I'm writing nothing just whatever is coming into my head right now looking to distract myself. The neighbor's car alarm is going off he doesn't know what he is doing with it. If it's broken he should get it fixed. Oh, my tea tastes good. I'm going to give my mother a call in about half an hour as she has to get up and go to the eye doctors today I said I would go with her then that way I'm downtown for my appointment this afternoon and I won't have to walk there which I had planned on doing.
Just looking up what is available for suicide prevention in town. There is not much online in the way of chat if there is it's not readably available. There is one that it online from 2pm to 2am so I guess if you need to talk to someone after those times good luck. There is always the hotline I know which I have programmed into my phone but sometimes you can't always talk and typing is easier. I also have social phobia as well so it makes it difficult to talk to people face to face. It's just very interesting to look up and prepare myself. I know this might sound weird to some people but I look at it as preventive measures and if I can think about it when I'm halfway sane then maybe it will help me when hurting and can't move because of the depression. Luckily I have a husband that understands my situation and tries to distract me when I get that down. Though I haven't talked to him lately about my resent moods he does know I'm down because of the pain from my back. Well, I should phone my mother and make sure that she is up and moving for her appointment. I'll write later.