Saw my Psychiatrist yesterday

She is going to change my medication around a bit put me on something new instead of my Abilify. She told me the name but I can't recall it, not even a guess. Usually, I remember them so I can look them up myself as well as her. I went to my mother's appointment with the eye doctor with her I now wish I hadn't. We parted ways after and I hung out downtown till my appointment. My mother took it upon herself to phone my psychiatrist and got her answering machine and left her a message. That she was concerned that I wouldn't talk about my home situation with her and that was the cause of my depression would she phone her back to discuss it. I'm 55 years old need I say more. I can believe that my mother did that, she is very controlling like that but I'm not impressed I feel violated my psychiatrist is my safe place she had no right to do that, my mother that is. My psychiatrist said she has no plans in calling her back of course but my mother shouldn't have done that. I really don't want to have anything to do with her now our relationship is now tainted for good. It was the final straw that broke the camels back so they say. It is time to cut the apron strings, not that there were any, to begin with. I've had it with my mother and she wonders why I had nothing to do with her when I was married to my second husband and that was 22 years. I should have learned my lesson. I'm done with that part of my life now.
I have to go back on the 2 of October to see my psychiatrist again so we will be down to regular visits again till she changes me over to my new medication. I'm glad in a way I need the appointments to get my head back on track and get to feeling better. I have enough drama in my life without my mother interfering. I have already years ago spoken to my psychiatrist about my home life with my husband and stepson. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and he is good to me we have our ups and downs just like anyone else and I manage. His son, on the other hand, has to spread his wings and fly it's time for him to move on with his life now and let us have our home and lives back. Hell, I even write here about my home life. She had no right. I'm pissed off. I'm mad. At least when my mother had her previous roommate she would interfere in her life and stayed out of ours. Now she has nothing to do but complain about the poor choices of husbands that my sister and I have made for ourselves, her words not mine. I'm done I wash my hands of my family well not my boys of course but my mother and sister. I don't need the drama in my life anymore. Time for me to move on. I can't change her I understand but I can choose to ignore her and have nothing to do with her. I really hate to do that at her age but it's not acceptable behavior at any age.
I woke up sore this morning got my meds into me and I'm feeling a little bit better. It's hard when you can't even rest to get rid of the pain it's just always there. My oldest nephew is coming in town and I'm probably not going to be able to see them. I would really like to maybe we can go for coffee I'll have to see. I'll try somehow even if I walk up to see them at my sister's place or try and see them before they go tomorrow. I'd like to see their new son. I have met him once but he has gotten so big.
I'm worked up right now my mind is going a million miles an hour. Not sure if I like that or not. I'm on my second cup of coffee and third smoke I only have one more smoke then I'll have to beg borrow or steal to get any more. I should quit right. I'll try but I don't seem to have any luck at that. At least I'm awake this morning I had a good sleep can't remember my dreams right now which is great. I wish my best friend was around I'd confide in her she would understand. I'm jealous of the relationship that she had with her mother it was perfect. Her mother was a super nice person always made you feel welcome. I was rejected by my birth mother and now this one is being a pain in my side putting in mildly. I know she will be gone one of these days and I should ignore her behavior but it's hard. I know another lengthy post I should probably stop but I just can't. Certainly more than just an excerpt from my journal it's my life story. Thank God I trust my psychiatrist and I'm able to talk to her. My mother doesn't seem to think about patient confidentiality at all what did she hope to accomplish by doing what she did. I know I keep going back to my mother and I should let it go. One word of advice don't tell my mother about your business as she will tell everyone and twist it to her liking. I will stress I'm talking about my mother. She had no right to phone my psychiatrist at all. I'm becoming very possessive aren't I, lol. Well, I should stop for now give it a break and write later.