This getting paid once a month is crazy

I find it difficult to budget for the month I haven't quite gotten used to it.  I'm getting there slowly well not really. It's smoking that is killing the budget. It's too expensive I really need to give it up. It's difficult I think yesterday I only had about 10 smokes in total. I'm going to start using my e smoke which I have been doing for the past few days. Morning time is the worst for me I really look forward to that smoke with my coffee. Well, let's change the topic I need to practice my guitar today. I did a lot of reading yesterday so I can slow down on that and work on practicing the guitar. My sister wants me to go out with her today I'm not sure I want to. I'm tired of being around negative people I need positive people in my life right now. Negative people just bring me down. Yesterday I couldn't seem to do anything right in anyone's eyes. I was being blamed all around for anything that went wrong in people's lives yesterday and the negativity has sort of followed me into today which I'm not happy about. I just can't wake up this morning no matter what I try to do. I have been half an hour writing this I need to stop I keep falling asleep. I should go back to bed.