Well we plan on going to the buskers this afternoon for something to do. I got the one result from my blood test the most important one. I have tested negative for lupus. It doesn't explain what is going on with my hands and feet but I didn't want lupus. I'll probably be diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The pain is spreading in my hands and feet and there seems to be nothing that I can help with the pain. I can't take muscle relaxants but they mess with my depression. I tried them once and that was enough and I only took half the dose that was prescribed to me. I need to do something to take my mind off of my pain instead of just sitting here. There is only so much that I can do though. Well life in general seems to be going pretty good the cymbalta seems to be working for my depression which is good at least I'm not depressed. I still have suicidal thoughts but that is stemmed more from my pain I think then anything else but the thoughts aren't lasting and bringing me down. They just pass through my mind and don't take up any space. It's amazing how they will just come out of the blue for no apparent reason. I don't think that they will ever stop. Well that's about it for now just a short note I'll try and write later on.
Went to the buskers and it was very disappointing only one act going on at a time so we only stayed for a few minutes. We walked down and back stopping in a few stores on the way back. It was nice spending the day with my honey we enjoy being together. Haven't really done much else today but watch movies. We are supposed to be watching a movie now but we are both at our computers him playing cards and me writing. He doesn't know that I keep a blog not that I'm hiding it from him but this is somewhere where I can express myself and not feel under pressure. I have always kept a journal of some sort or another and this has been my choice right now. I just looked back and I have kept this journal going now for 3 years and I don't know how much farther I am. It is scary how things have changed over the past 3 years but if I think about it realistically I have come far. If you had told me it would take this long for me to start to feel better about myself and my life I would have given up a long time ago. I'm now down to every other week with my psychiatrist and that has taken me five years of therapy which is a long time. I have a great psychiatrist but it has taken me this long to get to where I am now. I have been in my job for over a year and a half at the hospital for over 28 years now. I'm on cymbalta 90mg and ablify 10mg which seem to be working for me. I find that the cymbalta doesn't make me as talkative as the effexor did but you can't have everything. I haven't checked my blood pressure in a while to see if it has gone down or not I should do that tomorrow. Well I guess I should stop writing for now before I bore the pants off of everyone.
Went to the buskers and it was very disappointing only one act going on at a time so we only stayed for a few minutes. We walked down and back stopping in a few stores on the way back. It was nice spending the day with my honey we enjoy being together. Haven't really done much else today but watch movies. We are supposed to be watching a movie now but we are both at our computers him playing cards and me writing. He doesn't know that I keep a blog not that I'm hiding it from him but this is somewhere where I can express myself and not feel under pressure. I have always kept a journal of some sort or another and this has been my choice right now. I just looked back and I have kept this journal going now for 3 years and I don't know how much farther I am. It is scary how things have changed over the past 3 years but if I think about it realistically I have come far. If you had told me it would take this long for me to start to feel better about myself and my life I would have given up a long time ago. I'm now down to every other week with my psychiatrist and that has taken me five years of therapy which is a long time. I have a great psychiatrist but it has taken me this long to get to where I am now. I have been in my job for over a year and a half at the hospital for over 28 years now. I'm on cymbalta 90mg and ablify 10mg which seem to be working for me. I find that the cymbalta doesn't make me as talkative as the effexor did but you can't have everything. I haven't checked my blood pressure in a while to see if it has gone down or not I should do that tomorrow. Well I guess I should stop writing for now before I bore the pants off of everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment