Blah!

Just the way I feel. I had my appointment with my Psychiatrist today and tried to be good and tell her all the things that she wanted to hear. Then I told her what was actually on my mind and she told me this isn't normal conversation, I told her that they weren't normal thoughts that I was having. She wondered if our meeting was a good idea, I'm wondering the same thing. I now feel that I can't talk there either so where can I talk how do I express myself do I bother. I supposed to think of something that I'm greatful for and think about that all day easier said then done. Now I'm depressed, why did I ever start this process and what am I doing continuing on with it. Who do you talk to when your doctor doesn't want to hear you. I'm tired this evening I think that this has really drained me and I don't know what to do. I guess just go to bed and get some sleep and not think about what happened today. It was the only place that I felt that I could express myself other then here. Even here I try and keep it mild what goes on in my brain.