Long weekend

I have myself on a budget. I have been on it for two weeks already and it seems to be going great. It's a little tight but I needed to do something. I'm not sure how I feel today? I feel down but things are going pretty good for me so I shouldn't feel that way. I feel like I should be doing something but I'm not sure what I should be doing? I'm off on Monday and I don't have any plans. What do people do with their time? My thoughts have been pretty clear for the past few weeks but I still get suicidal thoughts that creep in once and a while and there is no reason for them but feeling sorry for myself. My boyfriend is lying down right now. I just don' t know anymore what to think. I tried watching a movie and all I did was fall asleep. I feel very alone right now but that is nothing new I can feel alone in a crowded room of people. My boyfriend told me the other day that I don't talk that much, which I don't I find it hard to express myself I guess that is why I try and do it here. I'm going to sign off for now I really don't feel like I'm making any sense. There are days where I have no problem writing then like today I have to struggle with every sentence.