I don't know any more I have moved in with my boyfriend but am still keeping my apartment for my son. I went to my doctors appointment yesterday and we have decided that it is best that I keep going once a week for now. We had thought about twice a month but with the way last week went and this week has started it is best to stick to once a week. I'm finding it difficult to shake these suicidal thoughts that I'm having. My doctor said that as long as they are just thoughts right now that's ok, it's when they become feelings that it's a problem. I'll tell you that there is a very fine line between thoughts and feelings and it was last week that I was having feelings of suicide but I realized that I needed to be around people instead of isolating myself. Well just a quick note for now I need to get to work I'll write more when I have more time.
I don't know what I'm doing, I would rather be at home then at work but then if I was at home what would I be doing there. My mind would be wandering more then it is now and it's all over the place and not good places either. I just can't seem to stop the thoughts maybe things will get better by the end of the week everything seems to be in such a mess. The only thing that is steady is my job and it does help with distracting my mind and keeping it on the straight and narrow. Well I should really be doing something other then this right now but I'm not sure what maybe some filing there is always filing to do.
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